If I am a Stranger
by Ally Smith
Summary: "… She saved my life, and said that I'll have an amazing life and…. She said goodbye" her eyebrows furrowed as it was quickly dawning on her what that meant "wait…. You don't… you don't like goodbyes. What does that mean?" FemDoctor. Multi Doctor, multi companion as the Doctor leaves letters for all her companions as she's dying. Comment and say who I should do next.


She closed the door over behind her with a heavy sigh and then held her head in her hands for a moment before she sucked in a ragged breath, tears pricking at her eyes and she dropped her hands to lift her head before she covered her mouth and dumped her bag at her feet, trying to force back her tears but it was pointless. She shouldn't have lied, she should've told him to truth. But it would have been selfish of her, he finally had his home again, she couldn't have acted that needy and kept him from Gallifrey, she knew humans weren't allowed. She looked down to the end of her hallway and the tears slipped over, she couldn't help but feel resentment towards both the men, to the Doctor for leaving and to Danny for giving up his chance to come back to her. She understood why both had done what they had but it hurt all the same and she wanted to drift back into that blank slate of a person she had been during that time that Danny had been dead. She started towards her living room before she paused at the sound of shuffling from her kitchen and she couldn't help the hope that bubbled up as she started towards it slowly. She paused before the doorway, squeezing her eyes closed and taking in a deep breath then pushed open the door quickly, darting inside "Danny?"

She froze though at the sight of the red headed woman in the midst of making two cups of tea, pouring milk in both and putting sugar in only one and she turned her head with a small smile, obviously trying to be reassuring before it finally fell away into a concerned frown at Clara's confusion and she sighed heavily, lifting the sugared tea to take a sip before she let out a heavy sigh and brushed her hair back from her face "you shouldn't have lied to me Clara" The confusion deepened in the brunette's face and she just stared at this strange woman in her kitchen, her eyes wide and her eyebrows furrowed and she kept silent and the woman continued, gesturing to her briefly, her voice quiet "about Danny? You shouldn't have told me that you had him back. And I don't even know why I believed you, because Clara my dear, you're an awful liar" she gave an apologetic smile and then sighed heavily and turned back to the counter away from her, taking another sip of her tea then sat it down on the counter, gripping the edge of the counter as she did and shook her head slightly. "Clara, Clara, what were you thinking?" then she let out a soft amused sound "what was I thinking though? Lying back to you? I didn't find Gallifrey, of course I didn't, she was lying, like the Master always is"

"Doctor?..." Clara's mouth fell open just slightly and she shook her head "you… you're a… you changed?" her voice was almost silent but the Doctor obviously heard as she gave a nod and an awkward shrug, taking in a deep breath as she handed over the unused mug of tea and Clara took it almost robotically and the other woman frowned in concern.

"Yeah… I changed. But" she spun away after a moment, one arm wrapped around herself "I've changed a couple times since I last saw you Miss Oswald" she picked up her own mug again and took a long sip, not looking at the brunette who took a step closer to her and sat her unsipped tea on the counter.

"Why are you here then Doctor? Did you only just now figure it out? Or has something else happened? You don't come back to people, I know you, what's going on?" when the woman in front of her tensed dramatically she took in a deep breath and tried to speak a little louder and more seriously "Doctor, what is going on?" when she finally turned back round she was holding a TARDIS blue envelope in the hand not holding her mug and the smile was gone in favor of a despondent look and she handed Clara the letter wordlessly and she stared at it for a moment before looking back to the Doctor who had sat down her mug of tea "what is this?"

There was silence for a few minutes where they just stared at one another, Clara confused and the Doctor forlorn before she took in a deep breath and finally responded by reaching her arms around the smaller and she murmured in her ear softly "it's goodbye, Clara Oswald" then she pulled back and cupped her face for a moment, flashing her a quick grin then moved passed her while she was still staring forward in shock and left the kitchen and Clara only snapped back into reality when the sound of the TARDIS dematerializing sounded through her small apartment and she turned and ran.

"Doctor!" when she found her flat now empty of a red headed woman and a big blue box she looked down to the blue envelope in her hands and she frowned sadly as she hurried to open it and tug the paper out and unfold it to read it.

She was crying again by the time she finished and she slowly turned and made her way back into the hallway, holding the letter against her heart as she fished out her phone and scrolled through her contacts until she got to his name then took in a deep breath and pressed dial and then held it up to her ear, waiting with her heart pounding for an answer. It rung a couple times before finally a thick Scottish accent answered and he didn't sound very happy "Hello? Who is this?"

She was silent for a moment before she finally spoke "Doctor?"

"Clara?" she could hear his confusion and she took in a deep breath, letting it out in a heavy sigh and he was quiet before he spoke again "are you okay? Has something happened?"

Her eyes started watering again and she took in a ragged breath "Doctor. He didn't come back, I lied to you, I'm sorry, but he sent through the boy he killed by accident, he promised him, and I'm still alone and don't feel like you have to come back but I just…"

"It's okay Clara. I'm- I'm on my way okay? I'll just be a minute" she heard him put down the phone and she slowly slid down her front door, sitting her phone next to herself and looked at the letter again, wondering if she should hide the letter but she didn't get a chance to do so as the TARDIS appeared at the bottom of her hallway and the Doctor stepped out, quickly at first before he froze upon seeing her and the two just stared at one another and he gave an awkward smile "Hi"

"Hiya" she murmured back, giving him a sad smile then looked back to the letter as he looked around, leaning to peer through all the doors and then frowned.

"So what happened with PE?" a sob left her at that nickname, after all this time, everything that had happened and he still couldn't call Danny by his name. Danny Pink was a good soldier but by most of all he was a good man and she resented the fact that the Doctor couldn't seem to accept that. "Clara?"

"He's gone Doctor, he was never here" she snapped bitterly "he didn't come through, he kept a promise to someone else and he's gone and he's never coming back" she tucked herself up, with her knees against her chest and her arms around them as she cried "I should've told you but you said you had Gallifrey back and I didn't want to ruin that and then I got home and-" she cut herself off, still unsure about telling him about the red headed version of him who'd been so casual about making them both tea in her kitchen.

"And what?" he'd inched closer and was now crouching in front of her and when she didn't answer and just seemed to cry harder his face contorted in an attempt to hide his discomfort as he reached out to squeeze her hand awkwardly "I'm sorry…"

For as bad as he was at it she appreciated the comfort. "Not your fault" she made up her mind pretty quickly after that as she slowly pulled out the letter from its place between her legs and her chest and handed it to him "another you was waiting on me, you gave me this and you said goodbye" her voice wavered on the last word and she tucked herself in again as she cried harder and the Doctor patted her hand once more absentmindedly as he stood back up to read the letter, his eyebrows furrowed for a while before his eyes widened then closed over by the end of it and he let out a heavy sigh.

"You weren't supposed to show me this you know. But um…" he took in a deep breath then let it out slowly, crouching back down in front of her to fold the letter and sit it down next to her "I know why you did. What did he tell you then? When he was here?"

"She" she corrected him quickly and had to smile slightly at the surprise that slid across his face, those eyebrows of his going up.

"Well… um… what did she tell you then?"

"She told me you lied, that I shouldn't have lied to you and that…" she trailed off and looked back down at her hands on her lap "she said goodbye"


End file.
